(Update: 4/10/12 at 10:26 pm)
It’s been a while since we’ve last seen the bastards of rock themselves, Confused Little Girl, and their van of broken dreams (oh, wait, no, they have a new van now!) on the road across the United States. Since their last tour, they’ve been hiding from winter in sunny Central Florida writing up some new kick-ass songs to make your ears bleed with joy.
But now they’re back and set to continue touring. Just this morning, they released this press release:
Yes, you are reading this correctly, dear purveyors of awesome. Your beloved bastards of rock, our most persevering of rock and roll pundits shall hit the road once more.
In the coming weeks, months, and years, monuments shall be erected in honor of the great and
exemplary rock and roll hi jinx proudly being set on display across these great United States by the bold and noble kings of Swamp Rock, Confused Little Girl. Viewers and attendees will be wowed, awed, and shocked by the purity with which the band showcases forms of talent thus far unseen by the world. There will be blood. Beer battered and deep fried with wonderful infusions of forceful, loud, and invasive gospel according to our forefathers of rock. Yes, even the greats like Lemmy, Keef, Slash, and Page will bow their heads in acknowledgement of this display of true Rock and Roll.
All others that have come before and all those that attempt after shall be looked upon as Humbugs. Hoax in comparison. Their efforts to dilute and distill the excellence that the world shall come to witness shall be folly, and the world will judge unfavorably their poor excuses of music.
For many years we have all suffered unfairly, being forced to submit our ear drums and eyeballs to the bland and mediocre. We have martyred the malign and vanilla and held them on platforms to be presented as idols. NO MORE FALSE GODS OF ROCK! No longer shall anyone be forced to starve their creative ideals. Confused Little Girl’s upcoming months long MASTERS OF MODESTY tour will exclusively define the way Rock music and Rock bands are viewed, shaped, and respected for generations to come. Churches shall be built, shrines shall be bronzed and polished, and cults will coordinate their mass suicides with the release dates of Confused Little Girl’s future album release dates.
This shall be a truly grand outing, and fortune has smiled upon you to be present at the birthing of the next step in musical evolution.
Check out the calendar here for their Master of Modesty Tour dates. More dates are to come. (Alabama, they just announced that they will be at The Nick in Birmingham, AL on April 30th. Be there!)
If you don’t know anything about them (and you really should!), go to www.bastardsofrock.com to keep updated on the band, preview their music, watch their crazy videos, see some awesome photos, and more!
While you’re at it, go here: trust me, you won’t be sorry you did.